Yes, I don’t find myself pretty. It’s not false humility, and I’m not fishing for compliments. I think I am average, plain, and simple…and I like it that way. When somebody does throw a compliment my way about my appearance I think them kind and sweet that they can see something special in how I present myself to the world. I thank them sincerely for their generous words because I cannot negate an opinion. I consider their compliments gifts from the heart for the heart. I do not think of myself as ugly either because I know I was made special by the maker. I’m different, unique, not perfect but most certainly a work in progress, and quite possibly with Gods plan…a masterpiece.
I’m ok with not being known as that girl with perfect skin, legs that go on for days, hair to be envied, a slender body, or a fashion sense to die for…things that fade…things that tend to disappear most especially when they have nothing significant associated to them other than being physical traits.
The beautiful people are those who I surround myself with. Family and friends…loved ones who I’ve grown to know, trust and care about. I yearn and strive to be like my loved ones. People with kind and generous hearts who are ready to help you the minute you cry out in need. These are people with gentle and nurturing spirits who concern themselves with your nightmares and/or dreams, who involve themselves in your fears or failures and/or success . The beautiful in my life are the people who have left quite an extraordinary impression in my heart, that when I go back and revisit a memory, I smile at the simple thought of how they showed love to me.
But here’s an honest confession, there was a time when I filled my head with thoughts of wanting to have better skin, an ideal weight, hair that can catch anyones attention and style that was envied..I have since left that to the World to die. I have now brought my thoughts and focus to things that are more valued by my heavenly father.
I want a heart so kind and generous that peoples hearts get filled with joy. I want to develop a sense of wanting to be personally involved in the lives of those around me to let them know that someone cares. I want arms and hands that are constantly and readily open to comfort and support anyone who needs it. I want a smile (despite it being broken and awkward) to be so full of sincerity that it washes away the pain of whoever receives it (even if it were momentary). I want eyes (despite them looking fatigued) that can see what’s special in every individual. I want a spirit so full of love that whenever I enter a room I get to change the mood into something positive, I get to put a smile on someones face because they are comforted by a feeling that they know I am a friend, that they can trust me, that I care for them, and that I am there to let them know they are extraordinary and special too.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry once wrote: “What is essential is invisible to the eye.” I appreciate people who think that, at times, in the physical I can be easy on the eyes, but I will most definitely appreciate it more if the compliment was for what my heart is and will be capable of.
** <3 **
…not quite there yet…still a work in progress ^__^